As children, we soon face and learn that we are not accepted and loved unconditionally. Some of our aspects are embraced and encouraged, while others are not welcomed. If we display those unaccepted aspects that oftentimes result in punishment such as silence treatment, physical, emotional or psychological abuse. Of course, we have no idea that what happens to us is abusive. We think there is something fundamentally wrong with us. We feel shame and guilt about it and these negative emotions create self-sabotage mechanisms that rob the chance of realizing our authentic self and true purpose.
As a small child we feel vulnerable and instinctively feel a strong dependence on our caregivers. Our existence is on stake. We identify rejection with the worst that can happen to us, so we do everything in our power to please at least one of our caregivers, experience their acceptance, and gain their love. In this process, we deny, reject, and disown the unaccepted fragmented parts of ourselves.
What happens with these aspects? Through the subconscious mind, they actually create our outside reality. The subconscious mind projects these aspects out and they show up in events, relationships, addictions, psychological pain, numbness, dysfunctional life management, etc. Additionally, we internalize the judgment about these aspects we received from our parents, later from friends, society, education system. This continually vibrates on the frequency of self-hatred, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth, shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, depression, etc.
Because these aspects are in the subconscious, we are not aware of them, and that means we are not aware that we are not aware of them. These are the aspects that sabotage our authentic embodiment, our joyful existence, the flow of life and the experience of love that life offers us unconditionally. To all of us equally without exception. We will ultimately experience life mostly as a struggle, painful, unfair, and unsafe.
The way we display ourselves to the world is mostly through a protective self that runs strategies to survive successfully in this reality. We identify with these parts of ourselves and often times put an extreme amount of energy to push these aspects forward and make them more and more refined. If our protective self, the one we identify with, is attractive to the world, then it definitely can bring success and circumstantial satisfaction, but oftentimes this success won’t bring long term happiness as well.
I tell you an example. You are having a super confident educated self, a manager, and leader who is taking responsibility and able to guide others, work in teams but at the same time certain situations bring forward a fragile, uncertain, fearful, vulnerable aspect that is having a strong fear of failure in another person close to you, you actually face an inner conflict between one of your protective selves, the one you display to the outer world as you, and an aspect of yours that you do not like and experience as not you.
Are you ready to accept and embrace this denied aspect of yours? This should start with a dialogue between your protective self and your disowned aspect with love, patience, and care.
Our subconscious mind triggers events, invite relationships that help us to see those aspects of us, that we deny, disown, and reject. Through these events and relationships, we are encouraged to become aware of those aspects of ourselves that want to be integrated and embraced. Often times when we don’t answer with awareness to these events they become more intense and shaking us up from our dream to show where we are having blind spots that need to be seen. Often times our very first reaction for any triggers is visceral resistance and denial. We run old patterns, feel strong negative emotions and try to avoid taking responsibility for our own shadows. Shadows can be positive too, if we were programmed to deny our talent, playfulness or beauty then we are not aware of these strengths.
What is the goal of this? Expansion of consciousness, growth into our majesty, understanding, and love as the true nature of reality, to liberate the creator within. Happiness.
As we become more whole, our life force energy can be used more for conscious creation and we won’t be triggered by outside circumstances that consume our inner battery. We build inner strength and resilience, our heart and mind become more coherent and serve the harmony of our existence. A harmony that is in synchronicity with cosmic order.
There are different approaches for integrating our disowned aspects. If you are good at deep listening, mindful “presencing” then you know that life is showing you exactly what is inside of you and give you plenty of chances to become more whole. One of the most important things during the process of integration is letting go of resistance to what is.
There is a power of you being there for yourself and holding yourself in a safe, and unconditionally loving container. That self-love will enable you to show that love authentically to the others, will open your compassionate heart. Even if you don’t say a world that love finds its way and create harmony and order around you.
From this space of authenticity, when you embrace all life in yourself with your whole being you become a loving creator of your reality.
In my personal practice integration is an absolute focus. Exercising of HeartMath practices helps in creating coherence between heart and mind that helps to build resilience and develop a positive emotional baseline that is needed for conscious creation. We are all sovereign creators. We are all equally capable of creating our own reality. For arriving to this place we need to integrate our disowned, denied and rejected aspect and recollect our life force energy to realize our authentic wholeness.
The core of my work is to lead you through this integration by synchronizing your different dimensions and aspects in a holistic, all-embracing way. This is Holisync.
